


Harry Hart: smol kitten menace

by elletromil



Series: Elle's Christmas Gifts [9]
Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Fluff and Crack, Gen, M/M, temporarily shrunken down half kitten!Harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 08:11:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5532134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elletromil/pseuds/elletromil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a mission gone wrong, Harry finds himself hand-sized and with half his features the ones of a cat. While Merlin is looking for a way to bring him back to normal, Eggsy has to look after him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Harry Hart: smol kitten menace

**Author's Note:**

> MERRY CHRISTMAS DIA MY SWEET EVIL PANDAMUSE!!!!
> 
> I really hope you're having a fun time today and that you're taking the time to relax! I hope you like your gift, it was really fun to write! Thank you so much for everything you do for me and always being there to cheer me up! *all the hugs and kisses to you*

“Please, tell me this is your idea of a sick joke?”

The look Merlin sends him over his shoulder makes it clear that the handler is far from finding the situation even remotely funny.

“Trust me Eggsy, if I wanted to prank you, I would have done it otherwise than by shrinking Harry and giving him cats attributes.”

For the record, Eggsy doesn’t think it’s funny either, and he guesses Harry will be the less amused of them once he wakes up from his nap. At least Eggsy thinks it’s a nap, it’s also highly possible Harry has been sedated considering the state he’s currently in.

Knowing the man, there is no doubts on his mind that he was using his newly set of claws to make his discontentment known. It doesn’t matter that he’s roughly the size of a hand right now, a cat’s claws are still sharp.

“So what, I am on cat-sitting duty until you find a way to bring him back to normal?”

“I would appreciate it. He’s trying not to let the feline instincts take over, but I know it’s hard and I could work faster without the distractions.”

It’s not hard to see Merlin would rather keep having an eye on Harry, what with how he gently strokes him between his cat’s ears. Harry starts purring louder than a motor, leaning into the touch unconsciously or so it seems, as he doesn’t move from his curled up position on the handler’s desk.

“You sure he won’t mind though?”

They get along fine Harry and him, more than that even, but Eggsy knows if he was in his position right now he would feel vulnerable and would want the least possible amount of people knowing about it.

“He asked for you actually. Before he decided to be lazy and to take a nap.”

Eggsy has some difficulty believing it, because he seems like a rather poor substitute to Merlin, considering the two men’s relationship. But he also know the handler wouldn’t lie about something like this and Eggsy would be lying if he said he didn’t want to help out in any way he can, especially if Harry obviously trusts him in his time of need.

“Should I wake him up?”

“Good luck with that,” Merlin merely snorts and move out of the way. “You’re better off just picking him up.”

Eggsy does so carefully, holding him close to his chest. Harry never wakes up, but keeps on purring, going boneless in his hold.

“Keep your glasses on, I’ll inform you as soon as I have something new.”

***

Eggsy had gone back to his office at HQ and had try to set Harry down on the chair opposite his own, but to no avail. Harry had his claws firmly clenched inside the fabric of his suit and Eggsy had decided he’d rather not incur the tailors’ wrath about torn fabric if he could avoid it.

That’s how he find himself catching up on his reports with a lapful of cat-human hybrid, because of course Harry had let go of the suit once Eggsy had had no intention of letting him go.

He’s making good progress, petting Harry's back absently helping with the jitters he usually gets when writing for too long.

He curses darkly when his hand is suddenly attacked by claws and bitten by sharp teeth. Not enough to break the skin, but still enough to sting for a few seconds.

“I’m hungry.” While it’s definitely Harry’s voice, it’s also somewhat higher pitched and Eggsy would find it funny, if not for all the wretched situation.

“And you couldn’t simply have told me?”

Harry frowns from where he has sat up on his lap, until his expression settles into one of genuine guilt. Eggsy recognizes it only because Harry doesn’t blinks innocently in that ‘ _who me_?’ way he does when he’s only humoring his interlocutor.

“I am sorry Eggsy. These instincts have proven harder to fight than I would like.”

He shrugs, not needing anything else to say it’s fine. It’s not like Harry truly hurt him anyway.

He gets up, Harry safely held in his hands, but stops dead in his tracks when the older agent clears his throat.

“Would you mind… Carrying me inside your jacket pocket?”

It would seem a strange request, but it doesn’t take a genius to understand it’s a matter of pride. They are bound to see other Kingsman employees on their way to the kitchen and it’ll be easier for Harry to hide in his pocket than it would be if he is in his hands. Because no matter how professional one is, it would be a bit hard not to gawk at the side of a half-cat half-human shrunken down Harry Hart.

*

“What can you eat anyway?” He asks when they’ve finally made it to kitchen. It seemed as if everyone and their dogs had wanted to speak with Eggsy on their way there and Harry had stayed hidden, only now poking his head outside of the pocket. “I mean you are part cat, so I am definitely not feeding you chocolate and coffee, but I don’t really know what else could be dangerous.”

He’s cursing himself internally for his oversight. He should have asked Merlin before leaving what was safe and what wasn’t. He could always contact the handler right now, but he’d rather not interrupt him, just in case.

“Well, I must admit I am unsure myself,” Harry frowns and at his current size, for some reason, Eggsy has to resist the temptation of smoothing the worried lines away even more than usual. “But I think water and tuna should be a safe bet. There’s always some cans of the stuff laying around.”

Eggsy nods in agreement and puts Harry on the counter with the smallest glass of water he can find. He still needs to raise it with both arms, but it doesn’t otherwise seem like he’s struggling, so Eggsy goes looking for the tuna.

He turns back to Harry, victoriously holding one of the can in hands, just in time to see him pushing the now empty glass on the floor with a nonchalant push of one pawed hand.

“Harry! What the fuck?!”

The other visibly startles and looks at the broken glass on the floor with incomprehension.

“I- I don’t know what came onto me. I- I’m sorry Eggsy.”

He shakes his head, feeling sorry himself for his outburst. “Nah, it’s okay Harry. Proper cat behaviour, if we are to believe all those cat videos.”

“You watch cat videos?” Already Harry seemed to have forgotten about his embarrassment, more interested in the potential blackmail material Eggsy had just hand him.

“My mum’s cannot get enough of the stuff and it’s good to see her laugh after everything, you know?” Of course when he’s forced to watch for more than ten minutes, he feels less magnanimous, but it’s still great to hear her giggles through the house.

Harry nods in understanding, even if he does seem disappointed that he won’t get to make fun of Eggsy with that new tidbit of information.

*

They’re back in the office, Eggsy’s trying to finish his paperwork and Harry trying vainly not to groom himself.

Unfortunately for his pride, that’s another feline instinct he cannot rule in, and soon, he’s licking his pawed hand and reaching behind his ears. Eggsy wisely elects not to say anything, remembering how sharp his claws are, and focuses on his reports.

He’s forgotten all about Harry’s presence on top of his desk right until his hand is batted at by gentle paws.

“I’m bored.”

Eggsy would suggest another nap, but one look is enough to find out Harry is currently far too alert for anything of the sort.

“What do you want to do?”

Harry shrugs, his tail waving restlessly behind him. “I kind of want to… hunt?” There is a moue of distaste on his face, not that Eggsy can blame him. If the images that comes to him are the same as he’s thinking about, he understands that Harry would feel queasy about hunting a mouse or something like it.

“There is always some fabrics or threads lying around if you want.” He opens his last drawer to get said items out. Being a tailor might only be a cover, but a cover goes only so far if you have nothing to back it up with. Thus, Eggsy has asked the tailors at the shop to teach him about a few things, which is why he always has some fabric on hand.

Harry is about to protest, he can see it, but one of the longer thread ends up near him and in a flash, he’s caught it into his paws, bringing up to his mouth.

He stops mere seconds later, sending a dark look to Eggsy when he starts laughing.

“If this leaves the office…” he doesn’t bother finishing his threat, smiling in satisfaction when Eggsy gulps audibly. Harry might not look really threatening right now, but the moment he’ll back to normal, all hell will probably break loose on anyone that dares mocking him.

Eggsy isn’t stupid anyway, he’ll tease Harry of course, once enough time has passed, but he won’t make the mistake to make it in front of anyone. Except maybe Merlin.

It’s not like the handler needs an excuse to laugh at Harry anyway.

*

It’s late in the evening and Eggsy is all caught up on his paperwork. He kind of want to gouge his eyes out, but at least neither Merlin or Harry will be on his case for for a while after he files everything in tomorrow.

They still haven’t heard any news from the handler, so after another meal consisting of tuna for Harry and a sandwich for Eggsy, they decide to call it a night.

Of course, there is no way they can go back to either of their houses, so Eggsy goes to his own room at the manor.

He’s just taken Harry out of his pocket and he’s about to let him onto the bed, when a small growl escapes his small form.

“Would you mind going to my room instead? I am afraid it smells a bit too much like JB to my tastes.” The smell is obviously disturbing Harry more than he would like to let on, his body going completely rigid, claws unconsciously digging into Eggsy’s hands.

“Well, if you don’t think Merlin would mind the intrusion, I don’t see why not.” Because it was one thing to invade the home he was sharing with Harry on a regular basis on invitation, but to go inside their rooms at the manor, with the intention to sleep on their bed nonetheless, seemed a bit too much like an invasion in the handler’s privacy.

Harry snorts, as if the idea of the handler minding is completely ridiculous, but still tells him to let him know, at least so that he’ll know where they are.

Merlin answers distractedly and where he in the room with them, Eggsy is pretty sure the man would be waving them away dismissively.

“Can we go now?”

***

Eggsy wakes up suddenly, panicking when he realises he cannot breathe.

It’s only after he pushes him away, that he realises that the reason he was suffocating was because Harry has been lying all of his weight on top of him.

“Eggsy?” his name his said sleepily, Harry looking adorably groggy.

“You’re back to normal Harry!” It’s only once the words left his mouth that Eggsy realises that nor only he is all but snuggling Harry Hart in his and his lover’s bed, but he’s snuggling with a _very naked_ Harry Hart. Whatever had made the suit shrunk with the rest of the man, did not let it grow back to its normal size. “I- I guess I’ll go back to my room.” Harry opens his mouth, certainly to protest, but Eggsy doesn't give him the time. “Let me just call Merlin and I’ll be on my way.”

It’s not that he wants to leave, far from it in fact, but he also doesn’t want to wait for Merlin to arrive and tell him he has overstayed his welcome.

He sits up quickly, leg dangling from the side of the bed, knowing that the longer he waits, the more difficult it will become to go back to his own room, especially if Harry wakes up enough to use his puppy eyes on him.

He’s reaching for his glasses when the door open on the handler, Merlin not looking the least bit surprised to see his lover back to his normal form, even if he’s definitely relieved.

What makes him frown unhappily is the sight of Eggsy about to get out of the bed.

“There’s no need lad. Except of course if you’d rather leave.”

For a second, Eggsy wonders if they understand what this sounds like, until he notices the twin looks of hope on the two men’s faces.

“On second thoughts, I’m too comfortable to move.”

And even though he shouldn’t be capable of it anymore, Merlin and him would later swear that Harry downright purred over Eggsy’s decision to stay.


End file.
